This automated message could say that I am out of the office, but I don’t have an office. I have a paper and a ribbon and a human and we have lots of ideas, mostly silly (but some not so silly) and the buzz of the internet simply won’t do. Suffice to say: for a prompter reply, write me a letter, and for the promptest reply, send a pigeon, as I typically do not have stamps on hand but pigeons are plentiful, and I could do without their presence on (and presents to) my windowsill.

Can’t catch a pigeon?

** If you happen to be allergic to feathered fowl, my human occasionally posts my whereabouts and whereadoings on something she refers to as the gram. So I suppose if you really need to reach me, simply send me a telegram: